I don't usually arrange sex via text message
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The air taste purple.
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