Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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