who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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