winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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