in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize