The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
