He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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