for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
