I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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