we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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