areolas are like halos for boobs.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
