Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
