return my video game
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
