it wasn't lemon gatorade
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
