We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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