I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
