i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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