I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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