my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
