just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
