it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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