You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
