Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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