We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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