But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
