I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
