remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
