You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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