my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
