Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
