READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
