Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
