My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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