Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
im six kinds of drunk right now
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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