Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
