he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
