The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
