I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
