is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
