omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
