drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
