bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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