You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
