I could make wine with my vomit
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
