I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm at about main and main street
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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