"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
