This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize