Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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