I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
