And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
