I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
