We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize