Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
