THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize