i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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