I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We're too hungover to prance.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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