He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
