I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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