I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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