STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you had me at cake vodka
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
