fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize