i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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