So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
