So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
