I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
