Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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