U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
