just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
