i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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