saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
