So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
