I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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