Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
